Graychalk.com | Misplaced Pieces
My Student Wants a Human Bank
Posted on Saturday, May 09, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Being that the majority of my students are around 4th to 7th graders, it’s inevitable that the topic of girlfriends and boyfriends would creep up (usually accompanied by giggles or sounds of retching, depending on who’s talking) and of course they’re always curious about my “boyfriend” status. I’ve had some hilarious conversations with my students in the past whenever they’ve discovered that I’m single. The one where Leo solemnly advised me to hurry up and find one before I’m too old still cracks me up. The latest one, however, takes the crown for the one that disturbed me most…
This time, it’s my 6th grade student, Shirley, who was curious about my relationship status. After I told her that I’m single, the conversation turned bizarre at best and went spiraling steadily downwards (in my mind at least). It kinda went like this:
Shirley: A boyfriend is gooood! I want a boyfriend.
Me: Oh really… is that so?
Shirley: Yes, I want a boyfriend because he can give me money and buy me everything I want!
Me: Um. What if he’s a horrible person or treats you really badly?
Shirley: It’s okay, I just want his money. I can always just find another boyfriend on the side to treat me better!
There’s more to that conversation of course, where I tried to make her see that money isn’t everything and can’t truly buy happiness, so on so forth. I failed miserably.
She quite cheerfully repeated in different ways that she wants a rich boyfriend and it doesn’t matter in the least if he has gazillions of outrageous flaws (I was getting desperate) or the worst personality in the world. I can’t decide if I’m more troubled by that or the fact that she has no qualms about finding an extra boyfriend on the side to fulfill any other extra needs the rich one can’t. And she’s in 6th grade no less.
Ugh. Shirley’s a sweet girl- she really is. I like her a lot… but goodness, what happened?
Paranoia in Epic Proportions
Posted on Sunday, April 05, 2009 at 09:56 pm
Sometimes, it really scares me how paranoid my mom is. She handed me some mail today, one of them being a couple of promotional coupons sent by a hair salon I used to go to, and I made an offhand comment about how it’s probably for my birthday (the birthday on my ID is not my real birthday, hence it’s now and not in January). But anyway… my mother kinda freaked and it went something like this:
Mom: You shouldn’t be giving them your ID number! Do you know what they can do with your ID number??
Me: I didn’t give them my ID number… I just gave them the birthday, so they can look up my member info when I go.
Mom: You shouldn’t be giving them your birthday either!
Me: It’s not like I gave them my birth time. Besides, it’s not even my real birthday, Ma.
Mom: Still, you don’t know what they can do with that….
How did my mom ever get this paranoid? In her defense, she wasn’t always like this. I mean, she had minor doses of paranoia… nothing really all that out of the ordinary, but if I have to track it back to a time when it got really bad (and then steadily worse), it was probably right after my dad passed away. Still, this birthday thing is getting ridiculous. What the hell is anyone going to be able to do just by knowing my birthday, and a fake one at that? Seriously, she must realize it too inside somewhere… except she’s too blinded by her paranoia. Sigh.
As a side note, that birth time thing I mentioned to placate my mom- that’s in reference to the common Asian belief (especially with the older generations) that you absolutely should not reveal the time of your birth to just anyone. Something about black magic, voodoo, and how it could affect your spirit- the latter being more related to if you give your birth time to a “dishonest” fortune-teller or those who are in contact with a “little ghost” in order to foresee the future. Something like that… yeah.
40 Minutes of the Twilight Zone
Posted on Thursday, August 28, 2008 at 09:08 pm
Having lived in Taiwan for the past five years, you’d think I had experienced this before… but nope, today was the first time I was actually out on the street when the air raid drill took place. It completely took me by surprise since I had not realized the drill was taking place today, which was rather unfortunate because it meant I was caught unaware and stuck out in the heat for over 30 minutes.
It happened while I was waiting to cross the street- this loud, wailing noise that went up around the city, similar to the kind you’d hear in war movies. I blinked and looked around in confusion for a moment, an image of bombs dropping from the sky briefly flitting through my mind along with the incredulous thought, “Don’t tell me China is attacking?!”
The lady standing next to me must’ve been having the same thought, because she looked at me a bit wildly before glancing up at the sky. But then most of everyone else seemed to be moving about normally at the time, so I shrugged and went on my way. So that was that until the sirens trailed away a minute later, making it suddenly eerily quiet on the streets. And it would be too, because I realized all at once that I was the only person on the street! Call it a dumb moment on my part, but I didn’t even notice anyone clearing out until the streets were completely deserted. No cars were running, nobody was walking about… nothing.
I stood there feeling like I was part of some freakish movie set… perhaps Resident Evil after the zombies have taken over the city and left it abandoned. It was that weird, because Taipei without noise, traffic, and crowds just don’t make sense. I wasn’t left alone for long though, since a cop came running towards me and gesturing for me step out of the streets. It was also when I was finally informed that the air raid drill was moved to today and I’d need to “hide” for about 30 to 60 minutes until it was over. The question was where, because there wasn’t anywhere I could go without being able to walk down the street. And so I ended up standing in a little alcove where I was stopped, with only an ATM machine for company.
It was really hot and whole thing felt like it took hours- the latter probably because I wasn’t able to do anything other than stand and wait in the heat. The ironic part? About 15 minutes into this whole thing, I heard the sound of an airplane. Being the only noise in the vicinity, it was especially loud. At first, I wondered if it could be fighter airplanes participating in the drill… except, no, it turned out to be a normal commercial airplane. It kinda made me giggle a little. After all, this was an air raid drill. The last thing that we should ever see in an air raid is a commercial airplane taking off from the nearby domestic airport!
All in all though, I guess I can at least say I got to see Taipei deserted- something one wouldn’t exactly see on a normal basis. I snapped some pictures, but since I wasn’t allowed to move about to get a better shot, I couldn’t quite capture the true emptiness of the streets. I wish I could convey how odd it really was.
Well, after about 40 minutes, life returned to the streets quicker than ever with another sound of the sirens to signal the end of the drill. As annoying as an air raid drill can be, I suppose we should all be thankful that it’s only a drill and not the real deal.
RSS - Subscribe