What a difference between the Emperor and the Fool. He’s got everything under control and he does it in such a nifty manner too. The Fool, on the other hand, looks like a complete flake in comparison. Could she be any less organized? Total chaos going on there. Granted, I think she’s trying her best though… maybe even a little too hard.

The Fool’s current state reminds me of what happens when one tries to do too many things at once or can’t quite decide which stuff to focus on. On the other hand, the Emperor’s got all his priorities figured out perfectly… though he also looks a bit anal retentive as well. :D Both, I think, has a bit of a frantic need in them. Both also describe me and the current state of things rather well.

I’m that Fool and Emperor at the same time, and they’re totally butting heads at the moment. It’s driving me insane but yet it’s the only way I seem to be able to handle things at the moment. Just think of a perfectionist with a billion things to do all at once (while being flung with crap) and you’ll come close to how my life is at the moment.

What the Hermit is doing looks absolutely heavenly. If there’s something I need right now, it’s to relax the way she’s doing (and more). But musing on the Housewives images aside, I know what these cards are also trying to tell me. The Hermit is not a new message for me- my cards have been trying to drill it in my head since January.

I need to pause a little and do some serious figuring out of what it is that I want. I’ve been having this heavy need to make something out of my life, re-examine things, and find myself again. The fact that I’m getting all 3 cards as Majors is telling on its own. I can’t even properly explain it, but one thing’s for sure: It ain’t gonna come amidst all this frantic organizing of chaos. All that’s managed to do so far is burden me mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I’ve been desperately hanging on to this ridiculous notion that as soon as I’ve organized everything and gained control of this chaos, I’ll be able to sit back to take a break, plan and think things through, and then perhaps begin the exciting Fool’s journey once I get the chance to work it out. Except I’ve been battling this mess since December with no end in sight and things have only spiraled further beyond my reach.

Obviously, the cards agree that I have indeed just been deluding myself and going at it all backwards. Note to self: Hermit time.