There would be that one odd person having a night out with a group of friends, all of whom are paired off in marital bliss, some with children of their own sleeping at home and some with six-figure incomes who are happily kids-free for the moment. Said odd person would smile and try to pretend she understood the stories her friends were swapping about marriage life, adorable children, and “whipping their husbands or wives in shape”... and if one should ask her why she hasn’t settled down yet, she might shrug as casually as she could while trying to skirt the issue with some standard reply or another. Worse, though, might be the jokes that would usually follow… about how she should be glad because she was the lucky one. And all the while her friends would try to top each others’ reasons by regaling how terrible it was to not be single anymore. It might have been believable if the very same friends weren’t staring at their other halves and complaining with such obvious and intimate fondness.

The Five of Pentacles was one of the cards I pulled earlier today, but I thought I’d reflect on just this one instead of posting the entire 5-card reading.

I’m looking at those two people walking in the snow. It feels like Christmas night, and they’ve been left out in the cold while families are in their homes celebrating, opening presents, and having a great meal. It seems, somehow, especially hard tonight. More so today than any other day, is perhaps that feeling of lacking something… making more apparent that sense of not belonging, of missing something that others seem to have so easily. But they do still have each other. So while tonight, they may look through a window at a party filled with people dancing and laughing the night away, tomorrow will be better and more bearable as they support each other at their own pace once again.

Tonight, I may feel emotionally tired and out of sync. I may have been that odd person out among the married couples… but perhaps tomorrow as I step back into my own life, I too would find my place in the world again.